Raise your hand.
Sit in the front.
Ask the question everyone else is thinking but no one is saying out loud.

For many people, especially women and early-career leaders, speaking up in meetings can feel risky. We worry about sounding unprepared, being judged, or taking up too much space. So we stay quiet. We observe. We learn. And while there is real value in listening, growth and leadership require more than silence.

Being quiet can help you gather information. Speaking up is how you shape the room.

Two of the most powerful phrases we can say are also two of the hardest:

I don’t know.
No.

Both tend to trigger discomfort, fear, and a whole lot of stories we tell ourselves. We worry about how we’ll be perceived. We worry about disappointing people. We worry about looking unqualified, incapable, or selfish.

But in reality, these two phrases are not weaknesses. They are skills. And when used intentionally, they can change how you lead, learn, and live.

In my recent Women In… interview with Jake White, co-founder of Vive 18, we unpacked something that sits at the core of so many struggles I see in leadership, wellness, and personal growth.

The difference between shortcuts and skill sets.

At first glance, a shortcut feels harmless. It promises quick relief. A way to take the edge off. A pause button when life feels heavy.

But shortcuts don’t actually solve the problem. They delay it.

Skill Sets, on the other hand, take time to build. They’re uncomfortable at first. They require repetition, awareness, and patience. But they create real resilience.

I’m not talking about sports today. I’m talking about life.

One of my personal challenges in leadership, relationships, and every version of myself has been slipping into defense. Defending what I’m doing. Why I’m doing it. Decisions I’ve made. The pace I move. The goals I set. Even who I am.

Defense is reactive. It waits for judgment, questions, criticism, or comparison to show up, then responds.

And living that way is exhausting.

Recently, I decided to take a deeper look at myself and shift from a defensive mindset to an offensive one. Offense is not aggressive. It is intentional, forward-moving, rooted, and confident in direction instead of apologizing for it.

Leadership isn’t just about strategy, vision, and results. It’s about the experience people have when working with you. It’s about the micro moments that either build trust or chip away at it. And sometimes, the things leaders say without thinking are the very things that undermine their culture.

If you are a leader, here are four things to stop doing immediately and what to do instead.

If you’ve ever found yourself drowning in commitments you never actually wanted, you’re not alone. On Women In…, my conversation with Sarah Bolor cracked open a truth many high-achieving women quietly carry: we don’t just overcommit because we’re busy — we overcommit because we’re conditioned to.

And then, in a separate conversation, Brigitta Dau introduced me to the deeper layer beneath that habit: the shadows we don’t want to look at, the parts of ourselves we’ve tucked away, and the belief systems running the show behind our “yes.”

When you put these two conversations together, something real happens. You start to see that overcommitment isn’t simply a scheduling problem. It’s a self-worth problem. A visibility problem. A shadow problem.

And the solution isn’t just time management. It’s truth management.

Let’s break this down.

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It sneaks in quietly under the disguise of “just one more project,” “just one more late night,” or “I’ll rest after this busy stretch.” It’s the fatigue you ignore, the spark that fades so slowly you forget what feeling energized even feels like.

In leadership, sports, and especially in high-visibility industries like professional hockey, burnout often gets mistaken for dedication. We’re told to push through, grind harder, and wear exhaustion like a badge of honor. But the truth? You can’t lead, create, or perform at your best when you’re running on empty.

Every year, I set one simple but powerful personal goal:
Read my age.

That means this year, at 47, I’ll read 47 books.

It’s a challenge, a ritual, and a reflection of who I am — a learner, a leader, and a coach who believes growth never stops.

Whether I’m speaking at conferences, coaching women one-on-one, or recording an episode of Women In…, one question always comes up: “How do I build confidence in myself?”

Here’s the short answer — and maybe the best-kept secret: Confidence isn’t built by thinking differently. It’s built by doing differently.

Confidence isn’t something you wait to feel before you act. It’s the result of taking small, consistent actions that build evidence that you can trust yourself.

If you want to feel more confident, stop trying to think your way there — and start doing your way there.

Every once in a while, we get hit with a spark — that really good idea that you just know could make a difference. Maybe it would streamline a process, create a better experience for customers or fans, or just fix something that’s been bugging everyone for ages.

But here’s the thing: having the idea is the easy part. The real magic happens when you bring it forward, get leadership buy-in, and see it through to the finish line.

This topic came alive during a recent Women In… podcast conversation with Kaleigh O’Brien, who shared some excellent insights about stepping up inside your organization. I walked away from that conversation thinking, we need to talk more about how to actually do this.

Here are five practical steps to take your idea from “I’ve been thinking…” to “Wow, look what we accomplished.”

Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out—they’re about keeping yourself whole. In a recent episode of the Women In… podcast, communication coach and boundary expert Amy Green Smith broke down what she calls “the anatomy of a boundary” into three clear stages: Decide, Deliver, and Enforce.

In the latest Women In... bonus episode, Libby DeLucien offered two standout leadership tools that hit hard—and practical. First, she introduced DITLO (“Day In The Life Of”) as a creative window into maximizing employee engagement. By mapping a typical day for team members—every task, touchpoint, and challenge—leaders can better align roles to individual strengths, identify hidden gaps, and ensure each person thrives in their optimal environment.