The Anatomy of a Boundary: Decide, Deliver, Enforce
Boundaries aren’t about keeping people out—they’re about keeping yourself whole. In a recent episode of the Women In… podcast, communication coach and boundary expert Amy Green Smith broke down what she calls “the anatomy of a boundary” into three clear stages: Decide, Deliver, and Enforce.
1. Decide
Every healthy boundary begins with clarity. Before you can communicate a boundary, you must know what you need and why. Ask yourself:
What behavior feels uncomfortable or unsustainable?
What outcome do I want?
How will I honor my own values if the other person resists?
2. Deliver
Once you’ve decided, the next step is delivering your boundary with confidence and compassion. Amy offered practical language frames, like “I’m not available for…” or “Here’s what works for me…” that keep the focus on your needs rather than accusations.
Use “I” statements to reduce defensiveness.
Be brief and direct—over-explaining weakens the message.
Pair clarity with warmth: tone and body language matter.
Tool: Download the free Nonviolent Communication Feelings & Needs List to find the right words.
3. Enforce
Boundaries aren’t real until they’re enforced. This is the step most people skip. Enforcement doesn’t have to be dramatic—it’s simply following through on the consequence you’ve already communicated.
Remind yourself: you’re not punishing, you’re protecting.
Be consistent. Mixed messages undo your hard work.
Offer an alternative or solution when possible, but don’t compromise your core need.
Resource: Nedra Glover Tawwab’s book Set Boundaries, Find Peace is a powerful deep dive on staying consistent.
Why This Matters for Women in Leadership
This framework is especially powerful for women navigating leadership roles or male-dominated industries. Deciding, delivering, and enforcing boundaries can help protect your energy, clarify expectations with teams, and model healthy communication.
Listen + Learn More
Catch the full conversation with Amy Green Smith on the Women In… podcast here. You’ll walk away with scripts, mindset shifts, and the confidence to create boundaries that stick.
