Confidence is a Muscle — Time to Train It
Whether I’m speaking at conferences, coaching women one-on-one, or recording an episode of Women In…, one question always comes up: “How do I build confidence in myself?”
Here’s the short answer — and maybe the best-kept secret: Confidence isn’t built by thinking differently. It’s built by doing differently.
Confidence isn’t something you wait to feel before you act. It’s the result of taking small, consistent actions that build evidence that you can trust yourself.
If you want to feel more confident, stop trying to think your way there — and start doing your way there.
Here are 3 ways to start building real confidence today:
1. Keep a Promise to Yourself
Pick one small, achievable goal and follow through. Maybe it’s committing to walk every morning for a week, journaling daily, or finally signing up for that class you’ve been putting off. Following through builds trust — and trust builds confidence.
2. Take Action Before You Feel Ready
Confidence doesn’t come first — action does. You’ll never “feel ready,” but taking even a small step creates momentum. Run that 5K, paint that room, or pitch that idea. Each action reinforces that you’re capable of doing hard things.
3. Learn from the Experts
You don’t have to do it all alone. One of the fastest ways to grow your confidence is to learn from people who’ve already done what you’re trying to do. Whether that’s hiring a coach, joining a community, or simply asking for guidance — surrounding yourself with people who’ve mastered what you’re learning helps you shorten the gap between doubt and action.
Confidence grows when you stop questioning your worth and start collecting proof of what you’re capable of. Every goal met, every small win, every brave question — that’s how confidence is built.
The Leadership Connection
This idea connects directly to my first Leadership Pillar: Go to the Experts. Confidence doesn’t mean having all the answers — it means being wise enough to seek them out. Experts model what’s possible, offer guidance, and help you see in yourself what you might not yet believe.
Because the most confident leaders aren’t the ones who know everything — they’re the ones who never stop learning.
