The Work-Life Balance Myth: Redefining What Really Matters
We’ve all heard it before: “You just need better work-life balance.” The phrase shows up in leadership books, wellness seminars, and casual conversations with friends who mean well. But here’s the truth: work-life balance is not only elusive—it’s a myth.The very concept suggests there’s some magic formula where work, family, health, and personal passions all receive equal weight. Yet anyone who’s ever tried knows it doesn’t work that way. Life doesn’t move in straight lines. Demands ebb and flow, priorities shift, and our energy is finite. Trying to balance it all perfectly often leaves us feeling more defeated than empowered.
The Glass and Plastic Balls Analogy
Author Nora Roberts once shared a powerful analogy about juggling balls. Imagine your responsibilities as balls in the air—some are made of glass, and some are plastic. The glass balls represent the fragile, irreplaceable parts of life: your health, your closest relationships, your integrity. If you drop them, they can shatter. The plastic balls represent areas that, while important, can bounce and be picked up again later: maybe it’s folding laundry, attending every networking event, or answering every email instantly.The key lesson? It’s not about juggling everything perfectly—it’s about discerning which balls are glass and protecting them, while allowing the plastic ones to fall when needed.
Why Balance is a False Narrative
Personally, I don’t believe in work-life balance. To me, it’s a fallacy—a cultural narrative that sets us up for failure, particularly for women. We’re told we should excel in our careers, nurture our families, prioritize wellness, cultivate friendships, pursue passions, and somehow keep our homes spotless. The result? Burnout, guilt, and a constant feeling that we’re falling short.Instead of balance, I’ve learned to embrace intentional focus. Sometimes my career demands more of me. Sometimes my health requires center stage. Sometimes family or community pulls me in closer. These shifts aren’t evidence of imbalance—they’re signs of living intentionally in the season I’m in.
Different Perspectives on the Balance Debate
What’s encouraging is that thought leaders, researchers, and everyday people are beginning to challenge the “balance” narrative:
Work-Life Integration: This perspective recognizes that our work and personal lives are not separate silos but interconnected. With remote work, flexible hours, and digital tools, many professionals are finding ways to weave personal and professional commitments together rather than trying to divide them. (Forbes)
Prioritization: Rather than trying to keep everything equal, prioritization asks us to identify our values and allow them to guide decisions. Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism makes the case for doing “less, but better” by focusing energy on what truly matters.
Seasons of Life: Leadership experts like John Maxwell have pointed out that life comes in seasons, and in each one, different areas require more or less attention. Instead of striving for constant balance, we honor the season we’re in and allocate our energy accordingly.
Letting Go of Guilt
One of the biggest burdens tied to the balance myth is guilt. When we believe we should be giving equal energy everywhere, we feel shame when we fall short. But what if we reframed it? What if dropping a plastic ball wasn’t failure, but wisdom? What if letting go of the ideal of balance freed us to protect the things that truly matter?
Practical Shifts to Try
Identify your glass balls. What in your life is non-negotiable, fragile, and deserves your highest protection?
Give yourself permission to let plastic balls drop. Not everything has to be done today—or by you.
Adopt a “seasonal” mindset. Ask: In this season, what requires my focus? That answer may change month to month, or even week to week.
Reframe language. Instead of asking, How do I find balance? ask, What deserves my attention right now?
Resources for Further Exploration
Nora Roberts’ Glass Ball Analogy - Read Article Here
Work-Life Balance is a Cycle, Not an Achievement – Harvard Business Review - Harvard Business Review
Work-Life Integration vs. Balance - Forbes
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing by Daniel H. Pink
Final Thought:
Work-life balance may be a myth, but that doesn’t mean we’re powerless. By identifying what’s most important, letting go of guilt, and making intentional choices, we can create lives that are not “balanced” but deeply aligned. And perhaps that alignment—not balance—is what we’ve been seeking all along.
